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FOREWORD
“A CRY FOR LIGHT: A Journey into
Love”
by:
Gregory
C. Keck,Ph.D.
Founder,Director
Attachment
and Bonding Center of Ohio
Co-author
of ADOPTING THE HURT CHILD &
PARENTING
THE HURT CHILD
What a journey!
Janet Jackson drew me into the
journey of reading this insightful, painful, and ultimately hopeful
book. I found that at times I wanted to read faster so that I could
get to the next chapter. “A Cry FOR LIGHT: A Journey into Love”
could only have been written by someone intimately familiar with, and living
with, a person who had experienced early life trauma which resulted in an
impairment in, and a fragmentation of, his capacity to
love...to develop trust...to recognize
the need for others in his life. As thousands of families attempt to
help a child, to build a family, many of them share Jackson's experiences. Many
of them would not describe their journey as being one "into love" but
rather of being one into pain, conflict, hurt, rejection, frustration, and yes,
for some a journey even into hell.
Each day of my life I sit with
families struggling to improve the quality of their journeys; many are quite
successful, yet others suffer in relative isolation as they continue to ask
themselves countless, and sometimes pointless, questions: Why
me? Why us? What were we thinking? Should we have
known? Why weren't we prepared? These
could go on for pages. All express the suffering people
experience as they attempt to enter a hurt child's life. What is so
beautiful about Jackson's sharing is that while her journey did include stops
at horrible rest areas along the road, she finally does reach her destination
with the child she loved so much and with the child loving her.
Jackson's
family endured much pain and suffering, about which she eloquently shares. I do
not think that I have ever read a book in which the author shared so much about
her reality. I have not met Janet, but I feel that I know her so
well. Her pain, her hope, her love, her brilliance, her dark side, her faith,
her husband Walt, her children Ryan, Jada and Devon, are all here, so alive.
Her gift of writing draws the reader into her experiences, triggering emotions
as well as thoughts.
I found that I shared her anger
at "the system" as it failed so many; as a parent I shared her hope
when mere glimmers of light appeared. As she traipsed through
airports, to team meetings, etc., I shared her fatigue. I feel that readers,
particularly those in adoptive families and foster families, those who work in
child welfare, and other professionals who understand the difficulty of living
with severely damaged children, will know that Jackson has taken a journey.
Families
need to remember that their child is a work in progress. Readers of this book
will find that this progress is not always forward. Progress in human
development includes all of the following: forward movement, plateaus, regressions,
and forward movement. This pattern goes on throughout the lifespan. Jackson
brilliantly integrates these elements in her organization of the book. There
are "throw in the towel"
chapters; there are "we have finally arrived
chapters", and there are "here we go again!" chapters. Much like the life of a child-"he's
walking" or now he's not!" "He's potty trained!"
"Oops, another accident!" Human development happens like this, and
when families "hang in there" and do what they need to do, they may
find that they, like
Jackson, reach their destination.
I think that “A
CRY FOR LIGHT” will help prepare families who choose to embark on helping hurt
children. It will provide a great reality check for those families
already in the middle of something they had no idea they would be
facing. Professionals who place disturbed children in families will
get an inside look as to why so many families adopting children with high
levels of disturbance look so crazy AFTER a placement has been
made. I've heard so many professionals say, "These people
looked great while we were studying their home. I wonder what happened to
them?" Well, join Janet, Walt, Ryan, Devon, and Jada on their
journey into love. I know that you will wonder no more.
Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D.
Founder, Director
Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio
Co-author of ADOPTING THE HURT CHILD &
PARENTING THE HURT CHILD |
